I received an email from a friend asking me few questions about my blog.

Firstly, whatever is happening to me right now just want to make it clear that i don’t blame anybody, i don’t have regrets.Ahhhmm…. I decided to have mutual understanding with him and even call it as “relationship” though we hide it. I know the consequences. I know time will come he has to choose who he wants to be with. And i know i could be left behind.

Months of being together i feel he loves me though, I feel his care, concern and he has given me to much patience. It just happen i want to have proper relationship. Don’t i deserve it? I wanted him to sort things out because i still feel third party.

Before christmas it was dec. 23, 2008. i decided to break him up. Because im waiting for no assurance when we can sort things out? Yes, he called me and we were okay again. until we had argument again and i uttered words that hurt him so much that even i begged him to stay it was hard for him accordingly. He asked space and i have it to him.We seldom texts and call each other..

Until last night, he called to inform me they invited his girlfriend’s family for new year’s eve. Politely, i said okay no problem..They can talk and settle their problems and so he can decide what he really want to.

I just kinda feel bad because i thought he wanted space because of my words. I wondered does he wanted  space  because he will be seeing his girlfriend and that he might can sort things out between them? Is the reason for space (acted cold) so i wont get hurt more with the probability? Can’t he tell me directly to break me up because he doesn’t want to hurt me? Or because i am trying to help him with what he wants to pursue?

What i really wish is honesty..I understand it is so hard to choose especially when you dont want to hurt both parties. but honesty will set everyones free..

And yes i am waiting for his decision within the day..

Whatever it will be ill always be happy for him though i will be left behind..

Whoever he will choose check out in my next blog..

To pipay thank you for the nice inspiratuional message. Thanks for the advices i can always count on you..