When you love deeply, and that love is taken from you abruptly..the pain consumes you.

Life becomes the series of meaningless details.If you are lucky, you enter the state of blank. If you are not so fortunate, a thousand times a day , your heart iis pierced by a memory or a smell, or a stain of music or a phrase, or regret about something not done or you have done.

Loss is a lesson any sane being will do anything to avoid. I begged for him just to stay but  Everything was too late. The sheer emptiness of it is unimaginably frightening, and it is inevitable. I sustained a loss so complete for i wished my life to end. I don’t want to face the years ahead of me.

I loved a guy for the first time in my life. With the complicated situations i carried on. I decided to be with him though i know at the end i don’t have the assurance what will happened. I gave all my attentions, I did everything i thought would make him happy without knowing he was suffocated with the way i showed my love for. It might be the wrong way of showing my love. One day he decided to ask me for a Space which means for me “break up” which is just a refined way of saying so to avoid insult maybe.

Everything was shattered..partly i knew i made mistakes, because of uncontrolled jealousy..But are there any reasons he just don’t want to uttered?…

I prayed and asked god to help me move on. to give me strength. There i have realized God has plans for me. Plans that are more than what i am expecting. A future maybe without the guy i love for now. It could be someone God has chosen for me.

Trials are just to test us how strong our faith…